Story: Exhibit A

"The most often repeated commandment in the Bible is 'Do not fear.' It's in there over two hundred times. That means a couple of things, if you think about it. It means we are going to be afraid, and it means we shouldn't let fear boss us around. Before I realized we were supposed to fight fear, I thought of fear as a subtle suggestion in our subconscious designed to keep us safe, or more important, keep us from getting humiliated. And I guess it serves that purpose. But fear isn't only a guide to keep us safe; it's also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life." ~Don Miller

I am so flipping proud of myself right now. And it's because I've done something insane.

Allow me to explain.

I am going alone to San Francisco, a place I've never been, on a train in June with what I can carry in a backpack to see Paul Simon and I have no idea how to get anywhere and I am staying with a person named Joan who I have never met and found on airbnb and then flying back two days later.

Insane.

And I'm so excited. I mean, it has all the ingredients for an incredible experience, so there's that. But honestly, I am proud of myself for ignoring fear.

One of the side effects of being an older and single woman that people don't address very much is fear. There's an endless need to be smart, to weigh the potential upsets that sit outside your circle of normality, to defend yourself emotionally and physically because you are the only one fighting that fight day in and day out. It sounds irrational and paranoid, and sometimes I'll admit it walks that line; doesn't everyone walk that line when it comes to protecting those in their immediate circle? That's what our fight/flight/fear response is. It's a neurological reaction that shuts down our logic and relies on instinct for protection. Which actually, is the only reason any of us are alive right now. So thank you fear, you are important. But you also are annoying.

It takes incredible balance to identify valid concerns and respond healthily and wisely. Organizing, conquering and working one's way through that balance can be a struggle. Grabbing fear by the shoulders when necessary and shaking until that measly little instinct cowers down and wanders off with it's tail between it's legs takes courage and fierce bad-assery and a little bit of faith in oneself. And sometimes it also takes something as motivating as a ticket to Paul Simon which, luckily, I happen to have.

So peace out. I'm determined to live a grand life and you're welcome to join if you like. If not, Paul, Joan and I will send you a postcard.