A Confession of Cheesy Dreams and Love Stuffs

Can I just tell you, oh so very quickly, about my favorite statue?

It's in the Springville Museum of Art, which is about ten minutes from where I used to live in Provo, Utah. I LOVE this art museum and often visited just because there's something wonderful about the building itself, let alone the art inside. This piece is a relatively small piece that's sitting on a little stand in the middle of a room upstairs. Before we talk about it let's remind you of one thing:

I'm not married. I would like to be, but I am not. I am very happy with my life and the way things have gone, but if the right opportunity to get married came up I'd gladly jump into that exciting and adventurous boat. In the meantime, I absolutely love that I can leave the light on late at night and can cook what I want to eat without consulting anyone. There are things to enjoy no matter where you are.

There, glad we established that.

The first time I saw this statue tears came to my eyes. Dramatic, but true. I think I went back to look at it about three times before I left that day, and it was always one of my first stops when I went back. I love this statue. It shows exactly what I am looking for in a marriage in a simple, beautiful, practical way.

There's a man and a woman. They've obviously been working and are taking a break. She is sitting barefoot, feet sticking out, absentmindedly cleaning her work tool,  chatting about whatever is on her mind; basically she is completely comfortable and feels entirely safe to be her human self.

He looks tired. He's hunched over, he's probably been doing the hardest work there is to do. They're clearly not done with their workday, but despite the work he has ahead he is calm, focused and present. He's sitting quietly and listening. And let's take a glance at how he's looking at her, shall we?

 

 

Can you see how amazed he is that she's real and she's there? With him! I'm not saying my husband has to completely adore me and be overwhelmed with gratitude that I'm in his life, but he has to completely adore me and be overwhelmed with gratitude that I'm in his life.  I'll feel that way about him so it better be reciprocated, that's all.

This is what I want in a marriage. I want to work together, and when it's time to take a break I want us to seek each other out, because it's natural that we would take that moment together. I want us to feel comfortable, to be ourselves. I want us to relish each others humanity and to find joy in things that happen everyday, not just the big romantic moments that tend to get swallowed up in monotony as time goes on. They're great moments, but that can't be the only place you find joy. I want to be able to be still together- to sometimes, but not always be going and driving each other to progress or change or improve- sometimes people should just be. 

And it wouldn't hurt if he has nice forearms and is capable of appreciating my quirky music tastes (Burl Ives, anyone?). But one step at a time.

My ideal relationship is not the fairy tale, it's not the love ballad, it's not the cheesy poems that talk about marriage like it solves every problem and heals every hurt. My ideal marriage is the Russian couple in the field who have worked through enough to be content with the prospect of continuing to work through whatever comes. Oh, and they adore each other.

Also, cool scythe, right? Imma get me one of those.

Recaps and Resolutions

WARNING: This post has no photos. I know, awful. So scroll down and look at the post just before this with my fancy little collage that my computer made for me. Once you've had your fill come back and read the wordy post. Good luck.

Ahem.

2013

Quite the year. A brief summary is being drafted (meaning I've been thinking about it and probably will write one sometime but don't know when but what a lovely intention that is that I have) but in the meantime, here's a look at how goals went.

2013 Goals and Word of the Year

Physical: Make a habit of going to bed hungry

This one I feel like I've done pretty well with. Because I started exercising more this year (I said that casually but I expect you to be impressed) there were times when I was legitimately in need of a little snack post-work out (again, be impressed). But overall I've done better not eating at night to stay awake or as a means of procrastination. So yay for that!

Emotional: Purposefully serve a member of my family everyday

The purposefulness is what gets me here.It seems shallow, but I really had to put away whatever I was thinking about or feeling to really and truly look for a way to serve a member of my family. Often opportunities would fall into my lap, but I learned this year how easy it is to be complacent or selfish when it comes to family. Final verdict: Adequate improvement in conceptual understanding, Greater improvement needed in practice.

Spiritual: Read The Bible cover to cover

Totally bombed this one. I didn't even make it through The Old Testament. But what I did read I absolutely loved. Except Numbers, as previously discussed. I am nowhere near giving up on this goal! I just need to make it more of a daily priority. 

Mental: Read 30 books

Um, yeah. At the beginning of the year I was working part-time and seeking meaning and purpose in life and I read a lot of books. So I met this goal in August. I finished my 40th book just before the end of 2013.I read some really fantastic literature this year. I'd love to geek out and tell you what I read and how I felt about it and which fictional characters I'm most in love with but I will spare you. (Just in case you were hoping not to be spared, here's a link to the list of books I read and you can read my little reviews of them. Go ahead, goodreads stalk me. Right here.  Also, fictional crushes= Jack, Max, Sirius. That is all.)

Word of the Year: Listen

This was a really good word for me. I talk too much! And it also reminded me to connect with people more, which is easy for me to forget out here in Rockbridge County. How can you listen to people unless there are people to talk with? I also tried to really listen and understand and empathize with everything around me, including myself. So while I'm no master at any of that it was great to make that a focus for a year. Hopefully I'll maintain that goal throughout, you know, forever.

But wait kids! There's more!


2014 Goals and Word of the Year

Physical: Run!

I hate running. Hate. Haaaaaaaate. But I also know that it's a really good thing to do and that I will feel exponentially better if I learn how to not be horrible at it. So my physical goal this year is intentionally vague. No overall times or distances, just freaking run. I'm planning on setting smaller goals along the way, but for now running in general is where we're headed. Kicking and screaming but still headed towards those terrible torturous treadmill machines.  If I feel like I'm a capable runner by the end of the year that would overcome some awfully powerful and long-held physical, mental and emotional hurdles so I'd be pretty happy with that.

Emotional: Conquer my morning routine

I hit snooze over and over and over. I run late. I abandon all good intentions from the night before. This must end. Mornings are really important for me and it's one of my most productive times. But I need to make them more consistent. Also, I should probably learn how to get out of bed.

Spiritual: Complete three of the Standard Works

I've started The Old Testament, as we all know, and I read from The Book of Mormon every night. So I'd like to finish those and one other (New Testament, Pearl of Great Price, Doctrine and Covenants) this year. I feel like this one is super achievable IF I also accomplish my emotional goal of conquering my mornings.

Mental: Accomplish 25 of my 99 in 999  goals

This is a fun one for me. Working on my 99 has really been a blast for me, but again, without being purposeful it can move really slow.  Also, there are several that I started and haven't finished so this will also be a needed mental exercise in actually following through.

Word of the Year: Accept

This comes after much debate and pondering and reading and many experiences. But I think it's what I need this year. Accept challenges. Accept other people. Accept vulnerability. Accept pain. Accept my own emotions and my own humanity. Accept God's will. Accept relationships. Accept weaknesses. Accept strengths. I'm sure more thoughts on this will come. 

And as a final note, I did a wee bit of running today. So there you go.

2013: Photo Summary

A more wordy summary will come, but in the meantime photos do a decent job, don't they?