A Confession of Cheesy Dreams and Love Stuffs

Can I just tell you, oh so very quickly, about my favorite statue?

It's in the Springville Museum of Art, which is about ten minutes from where I used to live in Provo, Utah. I LOVE this art museum and often visited just because there's something wonderful about the building itself, let alone the art inside. This piece is a relatively small piece that's sitting on a little stand in the middle of a room upstairs. Before we talk about it let's remind you of one thing:

I'm not married. I would like to be, but I am not. I am very happy with my life and the way things have gone, but if the right opportunity to get married came up I'd gladly jump into that exciting and adventurous boat. In the meantime, I absolutely love that I can leave the light on late at night and can cook what I want to eat without consulting anyone. There are things to enjoy no matter where you are.

There, glad we established that.

The first time I saw this statue tears came to my eyes. Dramatic, but true. I think I went back to look at it about three times before I left that day, and it was always one of my first stops when I went back. I love this statue. It shows exactly what I am looking for in a marriage in a simple, beautiful, practical way.

There's a man and a woman. They've obviously been working and are taking a break. She is sitting barefoot, feet sticking out, absentmindedly cleaning her work tool,  chatting about whatever is on her mind; basically she is completely comfortable and feels entirely safe to be her human self.

He looks tired. He's hunched over, he's probably been doing the hardest work there is to do. They're clearly not done with their workday, but despite the work he has ahead he is calm, focused and present. He's sitting quietly and listening. And let's take a glance at how he's looking at her, shall we?

 

 

Can you see how amazed he is that she's real and she's there? With him! I'm not saying my husband has to completely adore me and be overwhelmed with gratitude that I'm in his life, but he has to completely adore me and be overwhelmed with gratitude that I'm in his life.  I'll feel that way about him so it better be reciprocated, that's all.

This is what I want in a marriage. I want to work together, and when it's time to take a break I want us to seek each other out, because it's natural that we would take that moment together. I want us to feel comfortable, to be ourselves. I want us to relish each others humanity and to find joy in things that happen everyday, not just the big romantic moments that tend to get swallowed up in monotony as time goes on. They're great moments, but that can't be the only place you find joy. I want to be able to be still together- to sometimes, but not always be going and driving each other to progress or change or improve- sometimes people should just be. 

And it wouldn't hurt if he has nice forearms and is capable of appreciating my quirky music tastes (Burl Ives, anyone?). But one step at a time.

My ideal relationship is not the fairy tale, it's not the love ballad, it's not the cheesy poems that talk about marriage like it solves every problem and heals every hurt. My ideal marriage is the Russian couple in the field who have worked through enough to be content with the prospect of continuing to work through whatever comes. Oh, and they adore each other.

Also, cool scythe, right? Imma get me one of those.